I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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