Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
