accomplished twins. life is a go
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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