Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
