I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
