I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
