Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
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He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
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For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?