I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My ATM looks so different sober.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.