Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
it glows. i had to have it.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
