don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
