im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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