yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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