can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Randomize
