You work out of a Hotel?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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