Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
