So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
