i just wanna soil my oats bro
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
