I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
