I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
