I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
