Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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