i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
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I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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