she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
