I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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