hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
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