youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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