i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
