We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
