Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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