so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
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I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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