omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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