don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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