Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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