Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
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he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
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I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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