no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
