if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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