I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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