I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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