i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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