i don't plan on having that self control this summer
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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