Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
