I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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