Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize