Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
