Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
