Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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