I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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