she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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