dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
two words: eviction party
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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