I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
