So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I love you. Go after that dick
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
