i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm just crazy horny about you
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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