White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
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I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
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You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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