Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
