i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
