what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Only a mothe r could love this liver
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
