return my video game
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
